#KNICKSRAPED, The Chevy Guy, AROID & The World Series


Thank you for joining me for another column here on DOInow.com. Please make sure to check out my column on the No Balance Alliance, the NBA, located in the archives. As talked about in that article, the NBA in any given year, only has four teams that really have a shot at winning it all. The rest is just garbage time games going through the motions. One of those teams is the New York Knicks.

Knick fans can be a delusional bunch. Many fans, whether it be on twitter, facebook or on websites, think this is a team that can compete. To quote the great Ralphie Cifaretto, from the Sopranos, when a  hooker is talking about having a family with him, “WHAT ARE YA, FUCKING NUTS?”

The Knicks have been a mismanaged shit-show of a mess ever since Patrick Ewing donned a Seattle Supersonic jersey. The Isiah Thomas Era may have been the darkest era in the history of the franchise. The Knicks are still rebounding and reconstructing their championship, as the Thomas Era left ruins all over.

The Knicks have gone out and hired Phil Jackson. Why Phil Jackson would take this job at his age is beyond me, especially since his significant other is running the Lakers and Phil is more at home in LA. There is no quick fix with the Knicks. As mentioned in my other NBA article, to win in this league, you need premier top superstar talent. The Knicks don’t have that at all. You have the malcontent Carmelo Anthony, who has already gone on record as saying he doesn’t want to do much,  a bunch of washed-up guys and rookies with upside, but not superstar upside.

Before the Knicks/Bulls game tipped off last night, I predicted a 109-84 Bulls win. I wasn’t that far off. I expect alot of blowouts this year. You might as well call Cleveland police right now, because the Cavs will murder the Knicks tonight.

The Knicks made so many horrible moves this off-season and I don’t see how they can even grab a playoff spot this year. Phil Jackson is a name. He is not coaching this team. Even when Jackson did coach, he picked is spots.  Look at his squads. In the 90’s, he had the best player of all time, Michael Jordan. Jordan had the best sidekick in all of the NBA, Scottie Pippen with him. Rounding out the first three-peat squad were guys like Bill Cartwright, Horace Grant, BJ Armstrong and John Paxon. After Jordan’s suspension time away for baseball, Jordan/Pippen/Jackson reunited with a team that boasted Toni Kukoc, Dennis Rodman, Ron Harper & Steve Kerr. These are legendary teams!

After his Bulls years, Jackson coached the Lakers. Jackson had the second coming of Jordan in Kobe Bryant. Jackson also had one of the most dominant players to ever play the game, Shaquille O’Neal on his team. Rounding out those Laker teams were guys like Ron Harper, Derek Fisher, Rick Fox and Big Shot Robert Horry. Later on, Jackson would win with Kobe, Bynum and Gasol. 

THERE IS NO ONE ON THE KNICKS THAT IS KOBE BRYANT OR MICHAEL JORDAN. Forget having an elite number two like a Pippen or Shaq. I know many people love Carmelo, but Carmelo is not a winner. He cries about everything. He is not a team player. His interviews and body language is horrendous. He is a good pure shooter, but plays no defense nor knows how to dish the ball like his contemporaries.  Even the great Lebron James passes the ball and plays D. Why can’t Melo?

The Much Heralded  LOL Triangle Offense

With Jackson under tow, the first thing Jackson did was seek a coach. He was spurned by Steve Kerr! Steve Kerr, a guy who has never coached a game before, told the Knicks no! Kerr in no way, shape or form wanted his name attached to this mess! With his first option telling Phil to get the fuck away, Phil hurriedly signed Derek Fisher, another guy with no coaching experience! How does this happen? 

Listen, I get it, point guards are supposed to make good coaches. Isn’t this the same Derek Fisher who had to run away from the Utah Jazz to go back to LA, where the better doctors were,  because he has a sick son? How can he dedicate his time to the Knicks if he has to worry about his son’s health all day long? I’m not trying to be cruel here, but to be a coach in any sport, you have to be married to the job.

The Knicks, in salary cap hell, then gave Melo a max contract! Why? Melo is not a winner! Melo has ran Linsanity out of NY, ran Mike D’Antoni out of here and Tyson Chandler couldn’t wait to go back to the Mavericks. Just because you are a pure scorer, doesn’t make you a basketball god. The Knicks should get away from this delusional idea that Melo can carry them to a championship and see what the Spurs are doing in San Antonio. It’s about team play. There is no team play with the Knicks.

After hiring a rookie coach and giving a guy on the decline of his career a max deal, the Knicks started talking about using the vaulted triangle offense. Spike Lee even made a movie about it for MSG Networks! Are you effing kidding me??? For starters, who announces what their game plan is? NFL coaches don’t talk about how they are going to blitz all day or run the ball. Similar here, who hands out their game plan?

Furthermore, the Knicks don’t have the personnel to run the triangle offense. Growing up in New York, we had WGN, Chicago’s regional station on Cablevision. This was also during the time the Bulls were really good and were always on TNT or TBS as well. I saw almost every Bulls game in the 1990’s. There is not one player on the Knicks that could hang with those guys. The triangle offense is about team ball, quick passes, precision cuts and setting up jumpers. Yea, that offense totally screams AMARE STOUDEMIRE! Get lawst!

Listen, I want to see the Knicks do well, but Knick fans need to take off their Knick blinders if they think this team has a chance. As long as Lebron James is playing in the East, there is no way the Knicks are making the Finals. However, the Knicks have to fix themselves before they can even think about taking on Lebron. Who knows, by the time the Knicks figure it out, Lebron may be long gone and retired.
Madison Bumgarner with the Chevy Guy!

The World Series wrapped up last night, with the San Francisco Giants defeating the Kansas City Royals, 3-2, to take the Fall Classic in 7 games.  While most of the games in the series were blowouts, this was a true classic Game 7 with high drama and a razor wire score.  The talk of the night was about one man, The Chevy Guy!

Now if you don’t know what I’m talking about, please check out this World Series MVP presentation at this link: 

This Chevy Guy is already a viral hit. His sweating, stuttering and “Uhhh Technology & Stuff” is all over the internet. You have to give credit to Chevy, because they are embracing it on their twitter account. Rather than being pissed about it, Chevy is running with it, and I support that.

Note to any future rich pricks who will get TV time due to a sponsorship: REHEARSE, REHEARSE, REHEARSE!

All joking aside, congratulations to Madison Bumgarner on winning the World Series. I have never seen a pitching performance like he put on these past 7 games. At only 25 years old, you hope that this isn’t the peak of his career and there are many more big playoff games to come.
Almost as bad as Isis, it’s A-Roid

With Madison Bumgarner recording the last out in the World Series last night, Alex Rodriguez (Check out my #F13KYOU, Why AROID is UNFORG1VABL3 article in the archives) is officially a New York Yankee again. The suspension is over, and in a year where Yankee fans have lost their heart and soul with Jeter’s retirement, the Yankees still have three more years with A-Roid.

Bigger than PT Barum could ever imagine, the Yankees are going to need a big ass tent to house this circus come spring training. One of the biggest scumbags in baseball is back and you know he will crave the media attention as usual. Of course, this is a NY-centric site and I follow NY sport related media, so I heard more about A-Roid being off suspension than Madison Bumgarner’s legendary performance. That is quite sickening.

Brace yourself folks, we are six months away from A-Roid-a-mania being in full-swing.

Thanks for reading.

Comments, questions, hate mail can all go to:
Sean McCaffrey
@NYCTHEMIC on the twitter

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