NYR/CAR R2G4 5/11 Review: Close, But No Cigar (And a CZAR IGOR Streak Snapped Too), Hurricanes Prevent Sweep; Rangers Look To Close Series at M$G, Lafreniere Goes Beast Mode; Chytil to the Commode, Special Teams Swing Games; Law of Averages Prevail Too, “The M$GN Roast of Henrik Lundqvist” & More

Greetings and salutations everyone and welcome to another blog here on BlueCollarBlueShirts.com. No one goes 16-0 in the playoffs.

Following the events of Game 4, we still remain at seven down, nine to go, for your now 7-1 in the postseason 2023-24 New York Rangers.

Off puck drop, I apologize for the delay, as this GAME REVIEW blog is being posted nearly 24-hours after the fact. However, and as mentioned about 89676689696966 times before in this space, I write these blogs on a dinosaur computer, one that’s over twenty-years-old and when I tried to write this blog late last night – this hunk of junk just refused to work.

Rather than adding to my frustration following the Rangers’ loss/inability to sweep the Canes, instead, I just decided to call it a night – and then finally watched the ten-hour Netflix special (at least that’s what it felt like – as it was actually “only” three-hours), “The Roast of Tom Brady.”

And I’m glad that I did, as it inspired me to write a comedy bit, “The Roast of Henrik Lundqvist” – and one that you’ll find as you continue to read and scroll down.

After all, laughter is the best medicine – and while dropping one game in this series isn’t the end of the world (and in a way – it could work out in the Rangers’ favor too – and especially if you believe in the rest v. rust issue) – it’s not like anyone was hooting and hollering it up following the team’s first defeat of these here 2023-24 playoffs – and where sadly – several positive streaks were put to rest too.

As noted throughout these playoffs following each of the Rangers’ seven wins – no team goes 16-0 in the postseason – and a fact that now includes these 2023-24 Blueshirts.

And as I try to present to you a silver lining here, I ask you this:

Since no team goes undefeated in the playoffs, then wouldn’t you rather see the Rangers lose a game now when up 3-0 in a series, rather than dropping a decision in the Eastern Conference Final, and hopefully after that, not during the Stanley Cup Final either?

And heck, I’d take another seven-game winning streak too!

But should it be nine straight games, and as it just were (including the regular season) – then it’s a parade this June!

Furthermore, for a team that hasn’t really faced that much adversity during these playoffs, this loss is their biggest piece of adversity yet – and where this Game 4 scar will look to heal on Monday night at M$G.

Plus, this team has aced every challenge presented to them all-season – so it’s tough to envision the Blueshirts not overcoming this one too.

And in a way, sometimes you just need to get punched in the mouth a bit, a reminder of what’s on the line, before achieving ultimate glory.

I am aware that all of this may sound like “loser talk” – but again – until a team goes 16-0 in the playoffs – then I am of the belief that this loss wasn’t the worst thing in the world – and it was just a temporary bump in the road – and part of the process if you will.

But let me be clear – I’m not “celebrating” this loss either.

In fact, the only person in Rangerstown, USA that was smiling after Game 4 was none other than the team owner himself, James Dolan – who as a result – will add a few extra million smackers to his bank account with a now necessary Game 5 to be played in his arena.

If there was any true reason to be “upset” following the 4-3 loss from Saturday night, then it was because Lafreniere was robbed from dominating all headlines – following his sixty-minute, bell-to-bell, performance that defined the word domination.

In a contest where his fellow GAG LINE 2.0 members didn’t pick up a point in (a rarity – and just one of the many reasons why the Rangers came up short in Game 4), Lafreniere shouldered the load.

While we’ve seen Lafreniere shine before this season on the rare nights when both Artemi Panarin and Vincent Trocheck didn’t register a point; obviously, and due to the stakes, this was #13’s best showing yet.

Not only did Lafreniere lead all Ranger forwards in shots on goal (3) and shot attempts (5), but he also hit iron too.

And of course, he also scored a pivotal tying goal during the early stages of the third period, his fourth tally of this series.

Had the Rangers completed their 32nd overall comeback of the season, then make no bones about it – it would’ve been Lafreniere front-and-center in all recaps and summaries.

But alas that’s not what happened, but as I continue to stress – this loss was just a small bump in the road – and not something that I’m up-in-arms over – and quite frankly – I’m not concerned about it either.

Put it this way: The last time the Rangers lost a game was exactly one month ago, an April 11th 4-1 loss to the Flyers. Following that, the Blueshirts won their final two-games of the regular season – and then won seven more in the postseason, for a winning streak total of nine-games, which took place prior to this one-goal decision.

Aside from the winning streak snapped, another amazing feat of success, CZAR IGOR’s thirty consecutive playoff games of allowing three goals or less, was also put to bed.

Prior to this 4-3 loss, the 2022 Vezina Trophy winner, and going back to Game 5 of the Rangers’ 2022 first-round series with the Penguins, had never allowed four or more goals in the playoffs.

For both the team and the goalie, they’ll look to start new streaks – and who is to say that they won’t?

While I’ll share the line-up news and the Filip Chytil stuff with you below (and we do have an update for that matter) during the pregame news and notes segment; but for now – Chytil, after making his six-month return in Game 3 of this series, did not play in Game 4.

But as I’ve been saying all along, and whether it be Matt Rempe or Chytil, and now you can throw Jonny Brodzinski into the mix too; at the end of the day – it doesn’t really matter.

After all, the key to the Rangers’ success throughout 2023-24, including both the regular season and playoffs, is about what the top stars, goalie and special teams are doing – and not what a fourth-liner is doing.

Granted, while the fourth-liners have more than delivered this season, it’s still up to the BIG BUCK BLUESHIRTS, the Fat Cats if you will, to do the majority of the heavy lifting – and whatever you get from the fourth liners is just gravy.

Entering Game 4 with a 3-0 series lead, you had to expect that Rod Brind’Amour’s Carolina club would do everything in their power to stave off elimination – and just like how they tried to do in Game 3.

While not successful in Game 3 (https://bluecollarblueshirts.com/5924/ ), and due to CZAR IGOR, THE GAG LINE 2.0 and the Blueshirts’ lights-out penalty kill; the Canes, following two quick goals from Evegeny Kuznetsov (1:51 mark) and Stefan Noesen (6:33 mark), took an early 2-0, bad guys, lead – and where this time around – the Canes were ripping clear-as-day shots at the Blueshirts’ backstop, rather than looking for tips, screens and deflections.

True to form, and a testament to their ability to be in every game that they play, a Will Cuylle breakaway goal, his first (and long overdue) strike of the playoffs, lessened the damage to 2-1, bad guys, at the 8:33 mark.

However, Sebastation Asshole, government surname Aho, regained the home team’s two-goal lead at the 15:29 mark of this first frame.

Despite Lavy’s Lot trailing 3-1 as both teams came out for the second period – you never thought that the Rangers would be unable to mount a comeback.

And that’s what happened.

At the 12:43 mark of the second stanza, Braden Schneider seemingly had a seeing-eye goal following a shot from Downtown Julie Brown, but upon replay, it was revealed that Barclay Goodrow had gotten a small piece of the rubber as it deflected past the returning Frederik Andersen.

But either way, who scored the goal didn’t matter. Instead, the only thing that mattered was the goal itself, which now improved the score to 3-2, bad guys – and a score that held heading into the final frame.

Lafreniere, just a beast of a man on this night, was able to tie the game at three-all at the 2:04 mark – and where following it – you could feel it – the Rangers would not be denied.

Such thoughts were soon erased in the final stages of this match.

Unlike the previous three games of this series, and really, every single playoff game that the Rangers have played thus far; penalties and special teams weren’t really a factor in Game 4 – that is – until they were.

Prior to the 16:17 mark of the third period and each team only had one power-play each, following several games of five and six man-up tries a piece.

That’s why it was so disheartening when Ryan Lindgren, with just 3:43 remaining, was sent to the sin bin for tripping Jordan Martinook.

While what #55 had done was worthy of such an infraction being assessed against him; at the same time, there were also many no calls in this game, and for both sides, which is why it was a true kick to the jewels when the officials decided to remove the dust from their whistles here, late into a tied “do or die game.”

And with the call, the Canes didn’t die – and for the first time in their past seventeen attempts – the law of averages for their piss-poor power-play finally favored them, as former Blueshirt, Brady Skjei, scored the game-winner with just 3:11 remaining.

While the Rangers have a had a ton of success whenever employing their 6 x 5 empty net attack this season, such an event didn’t play out in Game 4 – and where much like their power-play that had failed them earlier in the game – they could never really set-up and go for the jugular.

The end result?

A 4-3 loss, and where the asterisk in Monday night’s Game 5 (*if necessary) was removed – as it’s now required.

And unless you believe that the catastrophic will happen, a Canes’ series win, then when it’s all said-and-done – wouldn’t a series closeout on home ice be equally as enjoyable?

And to continue the glass half-full optimism perspective, this now necessary Game 5 will only allow all of the Rangers to pad their scoring totals – and Conn Smythe Trophy bids too!

At this time, the pregame news and notes section, the quick GAME REVIEW and then I’ll close out with the M$GN “Roast of Henrik Lundqvist!”

For whatever reason, and I’ve brought this up before on this site, the Rangers have been censoring pregame interviews, from both the head coach and his players, from us, the fans – you know – the people who collectively pay everyone’s salary.

Following Thursday night’s Game 3 victory, the Rangers held an optional skate on Friday and where all of the Black Aces participated, while the regulars enjoyed a well-deserved day of rest.

Laviolette chimed in a few words during his brief time spent at the rink – and while there was nothing truly of note to be said – I still don’t get why the Rangers omit these interviews from us anyway.

Come Saturday morning, game day, and everyone was on the ice for the team’s RISE AND SHINE skate – that is – except for Filip Chytil.

Following what otherwise was a “no news is good news practice,” Laviolette spoke to the media about Chytil’s AWOL status – but the Rangers decided that their fans wouldn’t be allowed to see or hear what was said – hence the reason why I have no video to share with you here.

According to every member of the Blueshirts’ beat, Laviolette said that Chytil was under the weather, and verbatim, stated, “he felt great on Friday morning but woke up today with an illness.”

Obviously, and knowing Chytil’s history with concussions (and CTE symptoms too), everyone was concerned about his health.

After all, no one lies more about injuries or is as vague as the NHL is, whenever talking about injuries.

Had Laviolette said what he said about any other player, then you would’ve thought “diarrhea, cha-cha-cha, diarrhea, cha-cha-cha,” and then think nothing more of it.

But since it was the “Concussed Czech,” then you automatically assumed the worst.

And come 6:30PM Saturday, and Chytil wasn’t on the ice – as instead – both Brodzinski and Rempe took pregame warm-ups – and where it was Rempe’s captain in Hartford (should the two ever return there during their respective careers) that got the nod.

The Rangers, 6-0 with Rempe in the line-up this postseason, fell to 0-1 whenever Brodzinski skates with Vesey and Goodrow.

Just saying.

And I don’t mean to sound like I’m knocking JONNY HOCKEY either (as that’s not my intention) – but for the life of me – I don’t know why Laviolette has pulled a 180 on Rempe – as he’s just letting the officials get to him.

Simply put: Rempe brings a lot to the table – and I’d rather see him instead of Brodzinski – and heck – I’d rather see Rempe over Chytil and Kakko too!

It will be interesting to see if Rempe returns to Lavy’s Line-Up for Game 5 – as no other player juices up M$G in the fashion that #73 does.

Since I’m writing these words many hours after the fact, then at this time, I can provide a Chytil update for you.

Following Saturday night’s loss, the Rangers returned to their hotel rooms for a night of rest – and rather than immediately flying back home to their New York beds.

Such a thing isn’t unusual at this time of year, as many teams during playoff runs will opt for hotels and room service rather than distractions at home.

And as you’d suspect, by staying together, it only helps the team’s chemistry and bond at this most important point of the season.

As the Rangers were due to board their Sunday AM flight back to the Big Apple, NHL.com reporter Dan Rosen caught the idle (no practice) Blueshirts prior to their hopefully final Raleigh-to-NYC flight of the season.

According to “No Relations to Sam” Rosen, Laviolette told him that Chytil was feeling better and how he hopes that #72 can return for Game 5. The head coach also added that this will all be determined based on whatever takes place at Monday morning’s skate.

In other words, if Chytil can go, then it’s another no for Rempe – and for Brodzinski too.

Such remarks also suggest that Chytil really did have an illness – and his absence wasn’t concussion-related – and as many presently suspect.

But of course, you can never say anything about Chytil’s state of mind with a 100% degree of certainty – and where the Rangers haven’t even made the Czech available to the media either – nor has the club shared one interview with the fans in regards to his status.

Here was Laviolette’s line-up for the eighth playoff game of the postseason – and the 90th-overall game of 2023-24:

PENALTIES:

TEAM STATS:

GOALIES:

In some sad personal news, I must report to you that my formerly 11-0 undefeated and perfect record whenever watching the Rangers at my home bar, and much like many of the team’s positive streaks, was also snapped on Saturday night.

But unlike the Blueshirts, who don’t get an asterisk for their loss – my bar streak does!

After all, my dad, who had been along for the ride during our previous eleven jaunts, didn’t make the trip for the twelfth one.

In a complete act of selfishness and disloyalty, my dad opted to watch Game 4 at home, as he had to be up early for both church and work on Sunday morning.

And then there was the whole Mother’s Day thing, with his wife, my mom, too.

What a heathen!

And if you can’t tell, then yes – I am joking around!

But in a rare instance of being serious here, following two overtime games, my 73-year-old dear-old dad didn’t want to run the risk of being out and drinking late – and especially not with a 6AM Sunday morning alarm clock in his future.

As anyone over the age of 29-years-old knows – we don’t recover as fast as we used to!

And while he wasn’t there physically at the bar on Saturday night, he was there in spirit:

Long-story short?

I 100% blame my dad’s absence for the Game 4 loss – and where as a result – perhaps it’s he, and not the bar, that’s the good luck charm.

Or perhaps I was just tailing the good fortunes of both my dad and the bar!

But either way, we shall return – and hopefully for Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Final – which could take place next weekend!

And yes, while my friends, myself and the bar’s staff were all blaming this loss on my dad; conversely, and at the same time – he is telling all of us that we couldn’t get the job done!

We’ll see who gets the last laugh the next time the tab comes around!

GAME REVIEW time, and where yes, since I’m posting this so late, I’m just going to stick to the pertinent stuff.

FIRST PERIOD

In a game that only led to more 1994 comparisons after it (both the 1994 and 2024 teams opened the playoffs at 7-0 – and where the 1994 team, after their five-game wrap of Washington, then played fourteen more), and as I write these words right now, I’m reminded of what I said right before puck drop on Elon Musk’s app:

Final pregame thought: Obviously want the 🧹, but winning a Game 5 on home ice isn’t the worst option in the world either. In other words, stress, but not abundantly stressful, game tonight. LGR! #nyr

— BlueCollarBlueShirts (@NYCTheMiC) May 11, 2024

While no playoff game is truly “house money;” for the Rangers, and one last time, if they had to lose, then losing when up 3-0 was the right time for such an event.

The man with powder in his nose, Pablo Kuznetsov, beat CZAR IGOR cleanly, high blocker side, at just the 1:51 mark – and where really – this felt like Carolina’s first goal of the series that wasn’t the end result of a tip and/or a deflection.

1-0, bad guys.

Some four-minutes-and-change later, and this is when Noesen capitalized off of a Trouba turnover, as he banged home a rebound, another puck over CZAR IGOR’s blocker, for the 2-0, bad guys goal.

And yep, while I haven’t really gotten on the team’s third pairing during these playoffs (after all, it’s all about the end result – wins); at this juncture in the game and the Trouba/Gustafsson pairing was already -2 each.

And while it’s not really my intention to slam the two modes of transportation, THE TROUBA TRAIN and THE GUS BUS (and like others routinely do), this much is true too:

For as amazing as the Schneider/Miller pairing has been, the opposite can be said about this pair.

Down 2-0 quick, and you had to wonder if Quick himself would have been an option had the Rangers found themselves in a 3-0 hole early.

While inserting Quick wouldn’t have been a true act of waving the white flag, as after all, he’s been excellent all-season; Laviolette could have used his back-up when attempting a sweep, and if it didn’t play out, then he’d have a fresh and ready-to-go CZAR IGOR some 48-hours later for Game 5.

Such an option was never on Lavy’s table, as nearly ninety-seconds later, Cuylle scored the first playoff goal of his career, a breakaway one at that:

PLAYOFF CUYLLE.

(via @BR_OpenIce) pic.twitter.com/i5IvMCGBYg

— Rangers Videos (@SNYRangers) May 11, 2024

2-1, bad guys – and some life for the Rangers who at the time were trying to stop a flying-out-the-gate opponent.

With the game settled down some following Cuylle’s strike at the 8:06 mark, both teams exchanged chances while each goalie traded saves with one another.

However, CZAR IGOR, who had his worst game of the playoffs in this one (and this really speaks to how great he’s been otherwise – and where of course – Carolina had a ton of extra motivation too), saw the Trouba & Gustafsson pair pick up another minus, as this time, Jake Guentzel, who has become a Ranger Killer himself, got behind the Swede and then found Sebastion Aho for the no-doubt-about-it, 3-1, bad guys goal.

And as it was when down 2-0, then you had to wonder if the score had soon become 4-1, would have Quick then received the call.

But yet again, such a situation never arose.

Two minutes following Aho’s goal and the Rangers received a chance to bring the game within one again, as at the 17:30 mark, Jordan Staal tripped Mika Zibanejad.

Up next was arguably the worst Rangers’ power-play of these playoffs – and where they were lucky that they didn’t give up a shorthanded strike too.

No joke, the Rangers couldn’t set-up once during this two-minute man-advantage, and as the first period came to its end, we remained at 3-1, bad guys.

Here’s what I said at the time:

3-1, bad guys, after 20. 1P thoughts:

—- not that concerned, they will comeback

— But that was the worst pp of the playoffs

— CZAR IGOR hasn’t given up four in ages…

— Rangers took their best shot, time to 1-2 punch them

—- LGR #nyr

— BlueCollarBlueShirts (@NYCTheMiC) May 11, 2024

SECOND PERIOD

Both teams had a chance to improve their scoring totals, as to open these middle twenty-minutes, both Lafreniere and Tony DeAngelo hit iron.

In other words, both goalies got a helping hand from their best friend.

Come the 6:06 mark, and following these loud <DINGS>, Zibanejad was boxed for holding the stick of Andrei Svechnikov.

The end result?

A 1-1 PK, and a NATURAL BORN PENALTY KILLERS grouping that was now 16 of 16 in the series.

And heck, Lindgren almost scored a shorty here too – but Andersen, with some luck and some skill, just got a piece of the puck with the shaft of his stick in order to prevent the demoralizing goal against.

Once returned to full-strength, and the GAG LINE 2.0 had several chances to score, but were denied.

And once hopping over the boards, Wennberg, who hasn’t scored a goal in his career since the Harry S. Truman administration, and more-and-more, reminds me of Julien Gauthier’s inability to score these days too, smashed the post – the second ring of the iron for the Rangers.

The Rangers never relented after these bouts with bad luck, and come the 12:43 mark, the following:

RANGERS BACK WITHIN ONE

(via @BR_OpenIce) pic.twitter.com/loe8Y9raZK

— Rangers Videos (@SNYRangers) May 12, 2024

3-2, bad guys – and where I think that Schneider’s shot from the point would have went in anyway had Goodrow not touched it.

But GOODY GOT IT, and as a result, we were back to a one-goal margin.

For whatever reason, and as fans praise him as if he were Jaromir Jagr, Kakko had a bevy of chances to tie the game, but rather than shooting the puck, instead he did his dancing around all over the place act – and where Andersen could’ve went out for some beers and brats during it.

At least Rempe would have went to the net.

With just thirteen-seconds remaining, CZAR IGOR came up with his biggest save of the game, which then led Trocheck and Caveman Burns into taking off-setting roughing penalties.

We remained at 3-2, bad guys, through forty-minutes – and where the first 1:47 of the final frame would be decided with some foreplay (4 x 4) too!

Here’s what I said at the time:

3-2, assholes, after 40. 2p thoughts:

—- PK remains phenomenal

— Lafreniere is an absolute beast

—- GAG LINE 2.0 not on the board yet…

— FIND A WAY! Andersen isn’t that good. #nyr

— BlueCollarBlueShirts (@NYCTheMiC) May 12, 2024

THIRD PERIOD

Once the foreplay concluded and there was Lafreniere with his bank job – and where Andersen wasn’t robbing anything either:

LAF CALLED BANK!!!!!

(via @BR_OpenIce) pic.twitter.com/ES1jHRRzvu

— Rangers Videos (@SNYRangers) May 12, 2024

3-3!

I can’t say enough how great Lafreniere has been this season and now into the postseason.

At the end of the day, and when you try to explain all of it, especially after his first three-seasons of disappointment (or at least not living up to the hype of a #1 overall pick), I think it’s just a combination of everything: maturity, progression, getting out of the pandemic, comfort and of course, playing with the team’s best two players doesn’t hurt either.

But don’t get it twisted either – Lafreniere was steering the wheel in this one, and in no way, nor in now how, was he ever the passenger.

Now if only Kakko could do the same.

Tied at 3-all and I really thought that the Rangers would pull it off.

After all, who could think otherwise?

Then again, I guess the people that subscribe to the theory of the law of averages thought otherwise.

That said, the Rangers had plenty of chances to find a fourth goal, but such a strike eluded them.

As mentioned earlier, Lindgren was boxed late (3:43 remaining) and Carolina’s 0-16 power-play finally scored on their biggest man-advantage yet, and as Skjei did following his blast from the point.

4-3, bad guys.

Again – another clear shot, albeit when a man-down, that beat CZAR IGOR in this game.

And if you don’t know by now, then I’ll tell ya – no one beats themselves up more than CZAR IGOR after a bad game – and nobody responds better following such a sixty-minute showing either.

Following a Laviolette timeout and with CZAR IGOR on the bench, the Rangers’ 6 x 5 attack, which has served them so well all-season, couldn’t add one more to their ledger.

4-3, bad guys, your final, and where really, it was only one bad period that did the Rangers in.

And while I don’t expect Zac Jones to play in Game 5, you also can’t ignore such clamoring, as the Trouba/Gustafsson pairing has been on for nearly every single Carolina score this series – and if I’m recalling correctly- then I believe that Trouba has been on for every Cane goal scored since Game 2.

And I say that as a fan of the captain – but I must remain firm yet fair!

Here’s Laviolette following the loss, and where I agreed with everything that he said – the game came down to a late special teams play, the Rangers had a rough start but responded and how Lafreniere was an absolute mad-man out there:

As noted, the Rangers will try to finish the series on Monday night at M$G – and I believe that they will.

I just wish that I could take off from work – but alas – I can not – so in other words, I won’t be at the bar with my dad – but I hope to be back for the ECF!

Let’s close with some “comedy” – or at least that’s what I consider the following to be!

If you don’t know by now, and I know that I’ve said this many times before, then here’s one more time for ya:

I enjoy going to stand-up comedy shows – and there weren’t many people out there that was a bigger fan of the “Comedy Central Celebrity Roasts” than yours truly.

In fact, when making similar jokes from those roasts on both this site and on social media, I had many people tell me that they were offended – and I got all of the -ism accusations too – because you see, in these days, and with this new generation, no one is allowed to laugh anymore.

Fortunately, I’m “uncancellable” – and I don’t really care what my detractors say either!

The fall of stand-up comedy has been going on for some time now.

Not only are start-up stand-up comedians being canceled left-and-right, but due to these obnoxious social justice warriors who must fart candy smells in their sleep, Comedy Central stopped doing their roasts, and also got away from comedians deemed as offensive, including funny men such as Daniel Tosh and Anthony Jeselnik.

Even big-name multi-millionaire comedians, such as David Chappelle and Jerry Seinfeld, are feeling the heat from the liberal/cancel culture mob.

Enter Netflix, and say what you want about them, as they have bent-over-backwards when catering to the soft-as-shit left extremists and as if they were Disney; as the biggest streamer in the world not only dared to offend everyone – but return the comedy world to a state of normalcy too.

On Sunday, May 5th, Netflix presented their star-studded “Roast of Tom Brady” – and where for three-hours everything and anything was allowed, including sexist jokes, racist jokes (all races and from all races took their shots), fat (shaming) jokes, appearance jokes, promiscuous jokes, divorce jokes, 9/11 jokes and anything else that you could imagine.

The only topic off-limits was one that should always be off limits – jokes pertaining to the kids of the people on the dais – and specifically – Brady’s Brood too.

As far as anything else that may have been off-limits was Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft’s bust inside of an Asian (or is it ASSian) massage parlor – but the joke still heard the light of day (by “roast master” Jeff Ross) – but one that Tom Brady quickly took issue with – and the only joke that got a true rise out of #12.

While I’m not here to recap the entire event (but I do suggest that you check it out – assuming you have a sense of humor – and I assume that you do if you’re reading these words), I just felt elated when watching the entire thing – as comedy was back.

As someone in my teenage years, then into my late-twenties, who grew up and adored comedians such as Artie Lange, Greg Giraldo, Gilbert Godfried, Norm MacDonald and even Bob Saget too (and go figure, of these five, only Lange remains with us today), I had a blast watching this – as Netflix allowed us to laugh again – and without fear of libelous and slanderous accusations for doing so.

While people who may not enjoy such a roast will say that most of the jokes were of the lowest common denominator, stereotypes – at the same time – there’s a reason why stereotypes exist – and it’s okay to laugh about them too – as nothing being said is intended to be serious.

And in the world that we live in today – not only do we need hockey – but we need comedy too!

This is my preamble and introductory to what I think the M$GN should do this summer – ‘THE ROAST OF HENRIK LUNDQVIST!”

Why Lundqvist?

Because similar to Brady, “The King of Commentary” is also another sports’ great – and of course – now retired too.

#30 is also a household name like #12 is too.

While you couldn’t invite the kids to such a gala, you could use such a roast in order to raise money for The Garden of Dreams charity, one that Lundqvist works with – and the official charity of both the Rangers and M$GN too.

I can’t truly speak to how Lundqvist views himself, but based on his TV work on TNT, where he’s allowed to be himself rather than being shut down by that disgusting weasel Sieve Vagistat, I do think that he knows how to laugh at himself.

And unlike Brady, there’s a lot less dirt and personal stories (a highly publicized divorce for example) to work with in regards to Lundqvist – so the jokes wouldn’t even be that bad to begin with – but you know that you’d get about 967896686896 jokes about his inability to win the Cup – which may be the most personal sore topic of them all.

At this time, and let’s cross our fingers that this event one day takes place, here are some of the jokes that I’d like to hear at “THE ROAST OF HENRIK LUNDQVIST.”

(Be advised – the following is NC17 – and not meant for young eyes – or the cancel culture folk either!)

As far as a host for this event, then perhaps J.B. Smoove, who Lundqvist is friends with, and can bring the four-letter foul-mouthed comedy like Kevin Hart did during the Brady roast, would be suffice.

That is, as long as the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” star isn’t plugging Caesars Sportsbook during his act!

I know that I really could do a whole long bit on this, and really, write a three-hour script too, but for now, I’ll limit this to ten jokes – and I hope that you enjoy and moan-and-groan through them too!

Here’s Sam Rosen, dressed to the nines, talking about another member other dais, Joe Micheletti:

My partner Joe Micheletti once told me how proud his dad was when he first heard that Joe had lost his virginity at a young age.

As Joe tells it, Joe came home from school one day and said, “dad, don’t get mad at me, but I had sex with the teacher.”

Joe’s dad said, “good for you, buddy! It’s about time. You know what, I’m going to buy you a new bike.”

So Joe’s dad buys him a new bike, brings it home, and says “give it a spin.”

“Now now,” Joe said, “my fabulous ass is still kind of sore.”

HEYYO!

Here’s Dave Maloney, with a glass of Tullamore, Tullamore, Tullamore Dew in his hand, doing some ad-libbing:

I just heard from a doctor friend of mine that Glen Sather’s wife walked into a dentist’s office the other day, took off all her clothes and spread her legs.

The dentist, horrified by a sight worse than the hairlines of Sam and Joe, said, “I think you have the wrong room.”

The old bat replied, “You put in my husband’s teeth last week. Now you have to remove them – and get that cigar out of there too while you’re at it!”

Here’s Nikki Glaser, now the defacto female roaster at these things, having replaced both Amy Schumer and Lisa Lampenelli, getting in on the action:

“Sieve Vagistat, here I thought that you had the worst five-hole in hockey, but from what Larry Brooks tells me, Mollie’s got the bigger and nastier five-hole – and while you saw a lot of rubber – all of these black things always enters her!”

Jeff Ross, who usually has the best zinger (but not the best set) at these roasts going off-script:

“I see that we have James Dolan in the crowd,” says Ross.

Lundqvist, under his breath, “oh no, please stop.”

“Oh no, please stop? That’s what all those girls told Dolan when he and his pal Harvey Weinstein locked them in a hotel room!”

Kevin Weekes, who Henrik Lundqvist “Wally Pipp’d,” and like Drew Bledsoe roasting Brady, has to be there too:

I knew that my time in New York was coming to an end before Lundqvist even got here. After all, following one game, James Dolan tried to eject me from the locker room, as he said that black people don’t play hockey. Then when I told and showed him that your name is signed on my paychecks, he told me that the Knicks’ locker room was that way – and also said, “you better not be friends with that Charles Oakley!”

Here’s Kenny Albert talking about fellow M$GN employee John Giannone:

Not many people know this, but when Giannone was starting his career, he was just married and broke. In order to make ends meet, Giannone had his wife work the corner. After the first day, Giannone picked her up at 42nd and 7th and asked, “how did you do?” Mrs. Giannone said, “I did pretty well, I made $500.25!” John, puzzled with the quarter, asked, “who gave you 25 cents?” to which his new bride responded, “all of them!”

Of course, Bill Pidto would have to be there too, and he’d hit it out of the park with this one:

“Everyone knows me as the man who presents the fastest 150-seconds in sports – which is 149-seconds longer than Sieve Vagistat’s NHL career!”

And yep, Vagistat, and sadly at that, would be there too, but of course, he’d bomb as well:

“When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank In Stein.”

<GONG>

As Vagistat continued to bomb, thankfully, Artie Lange, making his comedy comeback, interrupted him:

“Sieve, everyone knows how you fortunately avoided the Lokomotiv Yaroslavl plane crash, but what not many know is how you also escaped when your house caught on fire.

As I heard it, when the house was burning to the ground, your lover, your top, Pierre, didn’t make it out alive, but since you were the bottom, you were able to get out since your shit was already packed!”

And of course, Lundqvist would get the final word:

I was recently out to dinner with Sam Rosen at the famous WoHop on Mott Street – and you know it – I had to pick up the bill!

While there, Sam was going on-and-on to our waiter about how wise the Chinese people were and are. The waiter agreed and said, “we’re wise because our culture is 4,000 years-old – but the Jewish people are very wise too, are they not?”

A very proud Sam said, “yes we are – and our culture is 5,000-years-old!”

Our waiter was baffled when he heard this, and then soon replied, “that can’t be true, as where did your people eat for the first thousand years?”

This either bombed or made you laugh – and no in-between!

See ya Monday following Game 5, as it’s time for me to go which means for you…

PLUGS TIME! (Buy a book and support my Rangers’ induced therapy bills. After all, I don’t run ads on this site!)

My fourth title and tenth book is now available!

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My second plug of tonight’s blog – the mandatory plug for my book, “The New York Rangers Rink of Honor and the Rafters of Madison Square Garden.”

As mentioned previously, the book is now available in hardcover, in paperback and in Kindle formats. To purchase a copy of the book, visit this link:

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For those still looking for signed paperback versions of the book, I have re-ordered more copies. I now have a few signed copies for sale at $25 a pop (includes shipping price) through me directly. Here is all the information on that:

Order “The New York Rangers Rink of Honor and the Rafters of Madison Square Garden” Book Today

My four-volume set of books, “One Game at a Time – A Season to Remember,” is a game-by-game recount of the Rangers 2021-22 campaign.

My second title as an author, “One Game at a Time – A Season to Remember,” is now available in eBook, paperback and hardcover formats.

To obtain signed copies, visit: https://bluecollarblueshirts.com/onegamebook/

To purchase all four volumes on Amazon, visit: Amazon.com – “One Game at a Time.”

The greatest volume-set of books on Rangers’ history today!

“Tricks of the Trade – A Century-Long Journey Through Every Trade Made In New York Rangers’ History,” a four-volume set of books that meticulously covers every trade made in franchise history, is now on sale.

All four volumes of the title can be purchased on Amazon.com and are presented in three different formats – eBook, paperback and hardcover.

To purchase Volume I: Conn Smythe (1926) – Craig Patrick (1986), visit Amazon.com

To purchase Volume II: Phil Esposito (1986) – Neil Smith (2000), visit Amazon.com

To purchase Volume III: Glen Sather (2000-2015), visit Amazon.com

To purchase Volume IV: Jeff Gorton (2015) – Chris Drury (2022), visit Amazon.com

To purchase signed copies of all four volumes, visit https://bluecollarblueshirts.com/tricksofthetrade/

If you haven’t already, subscribe to this blog for the next update:

Don’t forget to order my four-volume set of books, “Tricks of the Trade!”

If you don’t order through me, all four volumes are now available on Amazon.com

For more details, check out: https://bluecollarblueshirts.com/tricksofthetrade/

Thanks for reading.

LET’S GO RANGERS!

Sean McCaffrey

BULLSMC@aol.com

@NYCTHEMIC on the Tweeter machine