Greetings and salutations everyone and welcome to another blog here on BlueCollarBlueShirts.com. No, I don’t use drugs!
What you’re about to read next will either be the funniest or dumbest thing that you’ve ever read – and who knows – maybe both!
But I guarantee you that you’ll laugh and cry – and where you’ll probably do more of the latter – while in agony!
As an author of nine different titles/books (and currently working on a tenth – “The Top 100 Most Hated Villains of New York Rangers’ History” – a project that I’m taking time away from tonight in order to share this play with you), and as someone who is also working on a television script (“Rickard”) – I thought I’d add a new accomplishment to my resume – “playwright!”
The genesis of what you’re about to read started with a back-and-forth email exchange that I had with one prominent member of the Rangers’ alumni – as we sat back and laughed about all of the drama in regards to the Blueshirts’ current quest for a new head coach – their soon-to-be 37th hire of franchise history.
(But no – that person doesn’t want a co-producer credit for this silly play idea!)
If you’re able to ignore the Rangers’ most recent troubles, and can also find the humor in it all, then you’ll enjoy this.
I mean seriously – how comical, yet sad, is this entire situation?
As James Dolan’s favorite employee, “Senile” Glen Sather, whispers into his ear, and as Blueshirts’ general manager Chris Drury looks for his second coach in two-years; at the same time, you also have the two beat reporters from the New York Post hammering their keyboards with non-stop drivel – and I say that as a fan of the Hall of Fame scribe, Larry Brooks!
Seemingly, and approximately every 12-hours, Brooks has a new cause and charge for a head coach; while his peer, who could be his granddaughter, Mollie “I Don’t Give a Shit” Walker, follows-up on her own self-made fictitious stories!
When you’re posting a headline that may as well read as “EXCLUSIVE: THE PITTSBURGH PENGUINS HEAD COACH IS STILL THE HEAD COACH OF THE PITTSBURGH PENGUINS;” then you know that all hope has been lost.
We’re not exactly dealing with Woodward and Bernstein.
As frequently repeated on this site – the state and standards of both the fields of journalism and reporting have never been lower – and this sad commentary isn’t just exclusive to sports either.
What’s next?
“BREAKING NEWS: THE NHL PLANS TO PLAY HOCKEY DURING THE 2023-24 SEASON!”
Without further ado, I present to you, “The Hunt For the Rangers Head Coach of October!”
And yes – either this attempt at comedy will bomb or will be a hit – you be the judge!
“The Hunt For the Rangers Head Coach of October!”
SCENE 1
Location: Chris Drury’s office, located on 33rd Street & 7th Ave in NYC
As the curtain opens, we are shown a May 6th, 2023 copy of the New York Post on the desk of a disheveled Chris Drury. The headline of the back-page recaps the recent firing of Gerard Gallant. A telephone rings in the background.
<RING, RING, RING!>
Chris Drury <who sighs before eventually answering>: Hello?
Senile Sather: Chris, it’s me, the Baron of Banff.
Drury: Glen?
Sather: Who me?
Drury: Yes you! You called me, remember?
Sather: No, I don’t remember! Where’s that damn nurse with my cigar and tapioca pudding?
Drury: Glen, it’s me, Chris. You called me for something?
Sather: Oh yes, now I remember you – and even more amazing than that – why I called you!
Drury: What’s up?
Sather: Good job firing Gerard Gallant – if you hadn’t done so, then I would’ve had the leader of my favorite musical act, “James Dolan and The Straight Shot,” fire the both of you!
Drury: But Glen, don’t you remember our pact from two-years ago? I promised you “Depends” diapers for life if you helped in assisting me in running both Jeff Gorton and John Davidson out of town!
Sather: Chrissy my boy – I don’t even remember if I need a change or not after this new “Big Bite” hotdog that I just ate from 7-11!
Drury: If you want, I can send Mollie Walker on the first flight to Banff in order to help you change your nappy.
Sather: Oh God no. The last time she was over here, she told me that she “doesn’t give a shit,” and then I stunk up the whole house for nearly a week! My wife almost revoked my golfing privileges!
Drury: Okay, just trying to help. What’s up?
Sather: You made the right move when firing Gallant. It took all of the blame off of yourself – and you also fooled that idiot Dolan when doing so! Can you believe this moron still pays me?
Drury: I learned from the best!
Sather: I’ve been having problems with my direct deposit, so I would like to fly down and meet you in your office. I don’t trust these phones, they could be tapped.
Drury: Our phones aren’t tapped, I promise you that.
Sather: Don’t be so sure about that. Prior to promoting you, Dolan and I hired the “White House Plumbers,” G. Gordon Liddy and E. Howard Hunt, to run the successful facial recognition program at M$G – and to also erase any footage that could get us sued. How else do you think that we’ve been able to escape the wrongful death of Ernest Vogliano Jr. in our building?
Drury: I still don’t understand why you and Dolan are so happy about that cover-up. That man was a life-long season-ticket holder and was very good to our players over the years.
Sather: Yes, it will be tough to no longer have his money rolling right in – but we’ll always find another sucker. Heck, just look at the sales of our playoff t-shirts – “The Rangers are so hot that we had to release two separate shirts for $68 a pop!” What rubes! We even had that coot Sam Rosen pushing them with just three minutes remaining during Game 7 against the Devils!
Drury: I guess it will be nice to see you again face-to-face. When do you plan on coming in?
Sather: I’ll be there tomorrow. Send the limo to JFK Airport – and if you need the funds, just jack up the beer prices at M$G to $25-a-can. Dolan will get a kick out of that – he loves playing games with the State Liquor Authority!
Drury: Sounds good, see you tomorrow.
“The Hunt For the Rangers Head Coach of October!”
SCENE 2
Location: The Beacon Theatre, prior to “JD and The Straight Shot” taking the stage to agonize ears.
As the curtain opens, we are shown James Dolan, Glen Sather and Chris Drury backstage.
Sather: Hey pal, how you been Jimmy?
James Dolan: Well it’s been tough. The Knicks stink, the Rangers are even worse, I’m up to my neck in litigation, and my M$G $phere project in Las Vegas is already two billion dollars over budget.
Sather: Speaking of money, my recent direct deposit checks have failed to clear. What gives? I’ve given you 23-years of no Stanley Cups and I expect to be paid for my sage advice – just like how you pay Aturnover Panarin $11.6M a season to do nothing during the playoffs.
Dolan: Sorry Glen, we had an accounting error. Our lead accountant thought that you should’ve been fired for 23-years of nothing – and not “The Turk” – who became the first coach of franchise history to lead the team to back-to-back 100+ point seasons. Here’s $100,000 as a make-good. And don’t worry, that accountant has been fired and can’t get a job anywhere else in town. In fact, I think I saw him outside of Penn Station offering blowjobs for fentanyl!
Sather <grins>: Thanks Jimmy! Did I ever tell you that your band puts the Rolling Stones to shame? Mick Jagger can’t hold a candle to you!
Drury: Now that we have that settled, do you have any advice for me, as I look for my second head coach in two years?
Sather: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Keep quiet Chrissy. I’m still talking to Jimmy!
Dolan: Thanks Glen, I don’t know why anyone thinks that they can make eye contact with me like you can.
Sather: How are you doing with the ladies these days? I saw that you were on the “Raya” dating app.
Dolan: It’s been rough. Prior to joining Raya, I tried all of the dating apps – “Plenty of Fish,” “Match.com,” “Tinder,” and I even tried “BlackPeopleMeet” – but that asshole Charles Oakley had me kicked off of it.
Sather: Yeah, that Charles Oakley is a real dickhead. Perhaps you should ask Isiah Thomas for a favor? After all, you only spent nearly $20,000,000 in legal bills following his dirty-dog ways under your employment.
Dolan: Good idea! Thanks Glen. It’s just a shame that following Thomas sexually harassing numerous employees, that his time running the WNBA Liberty didn’t work out. I’m so lucky to have you. I know that we haven’t won a championship together during the past 23-years, but that’s obviously the fault of every head coach that we’ve had ever since you left Edmonton.
Sather: You know it, Jimmy my boy!
Drury: Can I talk now?
Sather and Dolan: NO!
Dolan: Oh shit, it’s almost showtime – and not like that Patrick Kane guy that you made me pay for Chris.
Dolan <does vocal exercises>: Ma-Me-Mi-Mo-Mu!
Sather: Me need to make a poo-poo too! See you after the show!
“The Hunt For the Rangers Head Coach of October!”
SCENE 3
Location: The “Il Vagabondo Restaurant,” following Dolan’s crime against the music business
As the curtain draws, we are shown Dolan, Sather and Drury sitting at a table, full of empty plates.
Sather: Jimmy, you were great tonight!
Dolan: What’s with the long wait? Where’s Ernest Vogliano Jr.?
Sather: Remember, we had that covered-up!
Drury <groans>: Can we finally get back to hockey business? We do have to hire a new head coach you know – and also talk about what we want the New York Post to say. By the way, did you send a check to Brooks and Walker?
Dolan: I venmoed Brooks, but he said that he doesn’t know how to use Venmo. I’ll Pony Express him a check. But we don’t need to pay Walker. After all, she is a birdbrain. She thinks an icing is something that Wince Mercogliano puts on his press-row gratis cupcakes.
Drury and Sather <at the same time>: True.
Dolan: It doesn’t look like that we’ll see a waiter anytime soon. Let’s go ham on a Hal-Al cart and then pick this up tomorrow morning.
“The Hunt For the Rangers Head Coach of October!”
SCENE 4
Location: The office of Chris Drury
Once the curtain rises, we’re shown Drury all by himself, while awaiting the arrivals of Sather and Drury.
Drury <looking over a stack of papers and muttering to himself>: I wish the hockey business was as easy as the pizza business.
As Drury waits for his bosses to show up, a Spotify playlist runs in the background, where Nirvana’s “Something in the Way,” Pink Floyd’s “High Hopes” and Marilyn Manson’s “Long Hard Road Out of Hell” are three of the tracks shown. Finally, Drury has enough of the waiting and calls Dolan.
Drury <once again, muttering to himself>: Why isn’t this guy answering the phone?
Dolan <as his ringtone, “If I Only Had a Brain,” from “The Wizard of Oz,” sirens across the stage>: Hello, who is this?
Drury: Boss, it’s me, Chris!
Dolan: Chris who?
Drury: Chris Drury, you know, your team president and general manager of your hockey club!
Dolan: Oh yeah, sorry about that. I forgot I even owned the Rangers!
Drury: Well that’s encouraging. Are you still going to make our 7AM meeting? It’s already 8AM!
Dolan: Sure, I’ll be there, just waiting for Glen.
We are then shown a clock in the background, a clock that starts at 8AM, but soon turns to 7PM. At 7:05PM, both Sather and Dolan walk into Drury’s office.
Drury <visibly frustrated, but biting his lip>: Hey guys, what took you so long?
Sather: Sorry Chris, but I thought that you meant 7PM. Sometimes, I lose track of the time and can’t figure out AM vs PM.
Dolan: Plus, Glen needs his naps too.
Drury: Okay, fine. We’ll all here now and that’s what matters. Can we finally get to business and decide on who our next coach will be?
Sather: Not yet. Jimmy wants to sing his newest song to me, his “Ode to the Knicks.”
Dolan: Thanks Glen <clears his throat>, what do you think about this song? <Dolan sings>:
“I want a ballI want a partyPink macaroons and a million balloonsAnd performing baboons and …Give it to meRrhh rhhhNow!“I want the worldI want the whole worldI want to lock it all up in my pocketIt’s my bar of chocolateGive it to meNow!“I want todayI want tomorrowI want to wear ’em like braids in my hairAnd I don’t want to share ’em“I want a party with room fulls of laughterTen thousand tons of ice creamAnd if I don’t get the things I am afterI’m going to scream!“I want the worksI want the whole worksPresents and prizes and sweets and surprisesOf all shapes and sizesAnd nowDon’t care howI want it nowDon’t care howI want it now!”
Sather: That was amazing. If John Lennon was still alive today, then he’d be jealous of you. In fact, I think we should kick that drunk, Billy Joel, who we gave a banner in our rafters to, from his monthly dates and have you perform instead!
Drury: Wasn’t that the song from the Gene Wilder “Willy Wonka” movie?
Sather and Dolan: NO!
Drury: Okay. But it’s funny, you bring up the rafters of Madison Square Garden. There’s been some jerkoff blogger, who wrote a book about this very topic (CHEAP PLUG TIME: https://www.amazon.com/Rangers-Rafters-Madison-Square-Garden/dp/B09F1D2G4V ), who keeps on begging me to honor such names as Frank Boucher, The Cook Brothers, Bryan Hextall, Ching Johnson, Lester Patrick and others in the rafters of our building.
Sather and Dolan: WHO? WHO and WHO?
Drury: That’s what I thought. I’ll get the Harry Styles banner ceremony ready for next month instead.
Sather and Dolan <once again in unison>: GOOD!
Drury: Okay, can we finally get down to business and figure out who to hire as the 37th coach of franchise history?
Sather: I’m tired and I need nap.
Dolan: Glen’s right, can we do this at another time? I have a concert at the Hammerstein Ballroom tonight, and we’ve already sold fifty tickets to the die-hard DOLANMANIACS.
Drury: Guys, time is ticking, we really need to talk about this.
Dolan: Nobody cares about hockey Chris. We can do this tomorrow morning.
Drury <aggravated>: Fine, see you tomorrow – at 7AM. Did you hear that Glen, 7AM?
Sather: I’ll try to be on time, but that’s when I’m usually watching “Matlock.”
Drury: UGH!
“The Hunt For the Rangers Head Coach of October!”
SCENE 5
Location: The office of Chris Drury
As the curtain rises, we’re returned to Drury’s office at 7AM – where shockingly – both Dolan and Sather are there.
Drury: Good morning gents. It’s great to finally have the chance to talk to both of you about our search for the team’s next head coach.
Dolan: Is Tortorella available? I always liked him.
Drury: No, he’s with Philadelphia.
Dolan: So what? I had Larry Brooks and Mollie Walker make up stories about Mike Sullivan of the Penguins for weeks!
Drury: I saw that, but like Sullivan, Torts isn’t available either.
Dolan: Well then, how about Mark Messier?
Sather <who immediately spits out his Swisher Sweets cigar>: NO! We can not have Messier here!
Dolan: Why not?
Sather <struggling to find an answer>: We can’t have him overshadowing Chris, especially not after firing John Davidson!
Dolan: I always liked that JD. He was a musician like me, and told me that we should one day record a remix of “Hockey Sock Rock.”
Sather: Trust me Jimmy, he was just saying that to get on your good side. <As Sather says this, he checks his mobile bank app, to make sure that his latest check had cleared.>
Drury: Guys, I really have no clue to hire after making Gallant our scapegoat.
Sather: Don’t worry about it. We already have Brooks and Walker on the payroll and they will print any narrative that we want. In fact, I need a diaper change – so let me have Helga clean me up and then I’ll show you how to handle this.
<Sather, walking bow-legged, makes his exit stage right.>
“The Hunt For the Rangers Head Coach of October!”
SCENE 6
Location: The waiting room outside of the office of Chris Drury
As the curtain comes up, we’re shown that it’s now 2:ooPM, and with the two reporters from the NY Post, Mollie Walker and Larry Brooks, flipping through “Highlights” magazine; where ironically enough, Ms. Walker is reading a “Goofus and Gallant” comic.
Mollie Walker: What’s taking so long? I don’t have all day. I’m supposed to meet-up with Wince Mercogliano in an hour.
Larry Brooks: Who?
Walker: You know Wince. He’s the guy that tweets on regular basis, “I talked to his guy,” “I copy-and-pasted this stat from NaturalStatTrick.com,” “I once farted on the set of “The Blue Lagoon” – you know, the guy who always starts every sentence that he writes with an “I.”
Brooks: Oh you mean that guy that writes four-paragraph articles full of never-ending ads, and then begs you for money to read them?
Walker: Yes! And he doesn’t correct me like you do either – like whenever I pronounce “Rod Gilbert” with a hard-T at the end!
Brooks: Why are you wasting your time with Wince? We have a big meeting. The Rangers’ brain-trust is going to tell us what to write next.
Walker: Well Wince told me that he just found an “All-You-Can-Eat” Sicilian Korean BBQ Tex-Mex restaurant, and since we only make $20,000 a year, these are the places we have to go to for dinner. Plus, who wants to do any real reporting when you can just post pictures of what you ate on social media? And better than that – if anyone disagrees with me – I’ll just call them a misoygnist on my daily Z-100 spots. WOMYN, LARRY, WOMYN! I’ll never use the letter “e” in “WOMYN!”
Brooks <under his breath>: I miss Hugh Delano.
Walker: Who?
Brooks: Well, since we’re waiting here; what do you think about the Arizona Coyotes possibly being relocated?
Walker: Who gives a shit? The shopping near the Mullet Arena was awful! Get a life Larry!
Brooks: Wow, you didn’t have to be so nasty.
Walker: Who gives a shit about my attitude?
Brooks: It must be that time of the month.
<As Larry says that, former Rangers’ beat reporter, Rick Carpiniello, enters the room.>
Rick Carpiniello: Hey Mollie, good period?
Mollie: WHAT?
Brooks: What are you doing here Rick?
Carpiniello: I’m just here to tell you to put down the god damn phone. Your tweets have been as useful as Al Trautwig’s dentist!
Walker: But what about my tweets Rick? Did you like my story about Mike Sullivan coaching the Rangers?
Carpiniello: At least your nonsense isn’t behind a paywall. I gotta jet, I have a lawn to stand on and a sky to wave my fist at.
Brooks: Thank the hockey gods he’s gone. “Daily Rick-Nash-O-Meter” my ass!
<Walker then pulls out a five-spiral notebook/binder and starts jotting some notes.>
Brooks: Mollie, what are you writing? It’s not like you’re known for that.
Walker: I’m just preparing some questions for the next head coach.
Brooks: How can you do that? We don’t even know who the next head coach will be, nor have we received our marching orders from Drury and Sather yet!
Walker: Oh, I’m writing down all of the questions that everyone wants to know from whoever the next head coach will be.
Brooks: What questions?
Walker: You know, questions such as:
— “What are your thoughts on Pride Night?”
— “Will you wear a rainbow, and if not, can I call you every -ism and -ist in the book?”
— “Will you play the kids? For the love of God, will you please play every teenager, even if you’re in “WIN-NOW” mode?”
— “As a head coach, do you think you should have a transgender surgery and embrace womynhood? If not, why are you sexist and transphobic?”
— “I heard that James Dolan’s ringtone is “If I Only Had a Brain.” Does he know where I can find one?”
Brooks: I should’ve never left the Devils’ front office.
<Following Brooks’ remark, the clock strikes 3:00PM, and with Drury’s secretary telling the beat reporters to come inside.>
“The Hunt For the Rangers Head Coach of October!”
SCENE 7
Location: The office of Chris Drury
As the curtain comes up, we’re shown the Rangers’ round-table, where Dolan, Drury, Sather, Walker and Brooks are seated.
Drury: Now that we’re all here, we can finally get to business.
Sather: Hold on, I just need to pop my Viagra and butterscotch candy.
<Everyone waits as Sather fiddles around with his pills and suckers.>
Sather: Okay, I’m ready!
Drury: First off, thank you Mollie and Larry. You guys have done a great job of producing white noise and not reporting anything ever since I fired Gallant to save my own job.
Dolan: What?
Drury: I mean, we needed a new head coach. After all, don’t you read the experts on Twitter? Gallant had no systems and didn’t know how to adjust.
Dolan: Then why did you hire him in the first place?
Drury: Moving on.
Sather: Can we make this quick? I don’t want to miss the ESPN pregame show of the Western Conference Final. I love their co-hosts, Vanna White and Pat Sajak.
Dolan: I think that’s “Wheel Of Fortune” Glen.
Sather: Tomato, tomato!
Drury: Back to business. Mollie and Larry, you have done a superb job of following my direction. Your 897567856789567895795795 articles on 86786786789678967866896 different head coach candidates has been a relief. That damn mother-canucker, Elliotte Friedman, in Canada, keeps on reporting about who I’ve been talking to, including Spencer Carbery out of Toronto.
Dolan: How does this weasel from “32 Thoughts,” who hasn’t stepped foot in New York since 1994, keep on scooping our employees, I mean reporters?! I still want to know how Friedman found out about the shouting match that Chris and Gallant had following Game 4!
Brooks: What do you want us to do? Write another article about Kris Knoblauch as head coach? Mike Sullivan? Peter Laviolette? Scotty Bowman?
Walker: I can make up another story about another head coach under contract to a different team that’s linked to you guys if it helps – I don’t give a shit. How does Lane Lambert sound? He’s the only coach, by name, in the league that I know. Thank my lucky stars for Ethan Sears!
Sather: We all know that you don’t give a shit Mollie. I had diaper rash following your last visit to Banff.
Drury: At the present moment, I have no clue who I’m going to hire to replace Gallant. All I know is that my next move has to be the right move.
Brooks: Maybe Josh Anderson?
Everyone besides Brooks: NO!
<All of a sudden, everyone in the room besides Sather starts arguing. During their shouting matches, names such as Jay Pandolfo, Mike Babcock, Patrick Roy, Jay Leach, Bruce Boudreau, Bob Hartley, Travis Green, Ted Donato, Jack Capuano, and sadly, Bryan Trottier, are all belted out.>
Sather: I got it.
<The room goes silent.>
Sather: I will become the next head coach!
Dolan: I love it!
Brooks: What a great idea!
Walker: Can we make this quick, Wince isn’t going to wait forever for me at the $5-a-plate “All-You-Can-Eat” restaurant! And I really want to try those deep-fried calzone-wontons!
Drury <rolling his eyes and now defeated>: But Glen, you’re nearly 80-years-old! Why would you want this job and deal with all of the travel?
Sather: In New York, we love the adages of “Same Old Script” and “The Rangers’ Way!” Plus, if that frog-eyed bastard, Lou Lamoriello, can collect two checks from the Islanders, then why not me from our club? And Jim – don’t you recall how I once won a few Stanley Cups a century ago in Edmonton?
Drury: But Glen, didn’t you have some of the greatest players of all-time, in the prime years of their careers, under you back then, like Wayne Gretzky and Mark Messier?
Sather: It was all me. It was always me!
Drury: But what about what you had previously said, “If I had the Rangers’ payroll, then I’d win the Stanley Cup every season?”
Dolan: Shut up you pissant! Glen wants to coach for us and we should be on our hands-and-knees & begging for him to do so!
<As the bickering continues in the room, and with Ms. Walker’s stomach grumbling too; Sather puts on his “Carnac The Magnificent” hat. Walker asks, “Who’s Johnny Carson?” to a stupified Brooks.>
Sather <knowing Dolan’s ringtone>:
Answer: “Follow the Yellow Brick Road.”
Question: What are good directions to the urologist’s office, I’m gummed up!
Answer: “Blazing Saddles.”
Question: What do they put on the horses of my Banff “Preparation H” ranch? Anyone have a pillow?
Answer: “Bedbug.”
Question: Who sleeps with Mollie Walker on the road?
Walker: That explains why I’m so itchy.
Dolan: SOLD!
Drury <breaking the fourth wall>: I should’ve taken the Florida Panthers job.
“The Hunt For the Rangers Head Coach of October!”
SCENE 8
Location: The office of James Dolan, a fast-forward scene to the year of 2048.
In our final scene, the curtain comes up one last time, where Dolan, Sather, Drury, Walker and Brooks, now 25-years older, are all gathered around a table, with plenty of Metamucil containers featured.
Dolan: I can’t believe it. It’s been 25-years since we all last sat down together – and we still haven’t seen our franchise win their fifth Stanley Cup of franchise history.
Brooks: I know, it’s been tough. The Seattle Kraken have won the Stanley Cup five-times during the past 25-years. The Golden Knights won it six-times. And those former Arizona Coyotes, now known today as the New Orleans Icebreakers, have won the Stanley Cup four-times.
Walker: Who gives a shit? Can we make this quick? I’m still single and am escorting Wince Mercogliano’s third son, “Wince the Third,” to his high-school prom. I can’t wait to take pics of the food that we’ll eat! I heard they are serving Ellios pizza – with pepperoni on top!
Drury: You know, maybe it’s time that we find our 38th head coach of franchise history. It’s been 25-years of Sather behind the bench – and another 48-years where our now 105-year-old employee hasn’t won anything in New York.
Dolan: NO! Sather has a plan and I trust him! Plus, these idiots, I mean fans, continue to sell-out my M$G!
Sather: Where am I? I’m so cold.
<The curtain closes, as Drury, with a television behind him, watches the Alaskan Aces defeat the Oklahoma Sooners for the 2048 Stanley Cup. Cries can be heard throughout Rangerstown, USA. Dolan gives Sather a handjob.>
End scene.
End play.
FIN!
Either this was the worst or best thing that you ever read. However you may feel – thanks for reading!
I just wanted to do something different, as everyone and their mother does the same old shit. Hopefully this landed – and if not – I’m sure I’ll hear all about it!
But I will say – it was my goal to make you laugh during a bad time of Blueshirts’ history!
As I write these words, outside of Friedman’s report of the Rangers’ interest in Toronto’s Spencer Carbery – we have no update on who will become the next coach of franchise history.
And yep – once again – it’s a Canadian reporter, with no ties to the Rangers, breaking news.
But at this rate – I wouldn’t be surprised if Sather took another whirl behind the bench!
That’s how sad the Rangers have become.
Speaking of sad and the Rangers – I’m back to work on my next book, “The Top 100 Most Hated Villains of New York Rangers’ History.”
And oh yeah, remember what I said two-years ago?
If not, then here’s a reminder:
Hope it’s Kakko for Tkachuk lol
— BlueCollarBlueShirts (@NYCTheMiC) July 30, 2021
There’s also this blog from 2021: http://bluecollarblueshirts.com/51821/
The most notable passage from that blog? The following:
If I were Chris Drury, the one player I would tunnel vision on would be Matt Tkachuk.
I talked about this last blog a bit, but of all the players the Rangers could go after during this off-season, to me, the apple of my eye would be Matt Tkachuk, from the struggling and perhaps soon-to-be rebuilding, Calgary Flames.Without question, the Rangers need a top-six guy who can change the make-up of this team and provide flavor for this roster stew. Trying to add marginal fourth line tough guys is a fool’s errand. The Rangers need their own Tom Wilson. The Rangers need their own Brad Marchand. The Rangers need their own Islanders’ “Identity Line.” Loading up on fourth line guys, all making six figures – well that won’t cut it. You have to pay up here.
I know that I’ve brought this up before, but I have to say it again – you have to give up something in order to get something.
The Rangers, when compared to food, are just one flavor. You can say they are all chocolate, all vanilla or all strawberry – but whatever flavor you use – the bottom line is that they are just one flavor.
They aren’t your local Dairy Queen (yes, I used Dairy Queen because of their DQ initials here!), where you can sample many different flavors. The Rangers are just one flavor, a flavor, where if you were to physically taste the Rangers – may taste like dog shit.
Simply put, the Rangers, and I think that they will, have to make some kind of monumental trade this off-season.
To me, I would look no further than Matt Tkachuk, a Tkachuk that won’t be pried away from Calgary with ease. You’re not going to just give up draft picks and a Filip Chytil for him. Instead, I think the Rangers are going to have to give up someone major for him, and to me, that player would be Kaapo Kakko.
For those who may have not seen it – Matt Tkachuk, who is making a case for the Conn Smythe Trophy, scored the quadruple overtime winning goal, in Florida’s 3-2 win over Carolina on Thursday night.
But don’t worry folks.
As mentioned last blog (https://bluecollarblueshirts.com/51723/ ) – Kakko skated well for five seconds during the 2023 IIHF Worlds Tournament.
Let the world rejoice!
I’ll return whenever the Rangers next make a move.
Until then, back to the book for me – and for you – enjoy your weekend.
Again – I hope you enjoyed my attempt at comedy. If not, oh well!
PLUGS TIME! (Buy a book and support my Rangers’ induced therapy bills. After all, I don’t run ads on this site!)
My first plug of tonight’s blog – the mandatory plug for my book, “The New York Rangers Rink of Honor and the Rafters of Madison Square Garden.”
As mentioned previously, the book is now available in hardcover, in paperback and in Kindle formats. To purchase a copy of the book, visit this link:
https://www.amazon.com/Rangers-Rafters-Madison-Square-Garden-ebook/dp/B09CM5N2WD
For those still looking for signed paperback versions of the book, I have re-ordered more copies. I now have a few signed copies for sale at $25 a pop (includes shipping price) through me directly. Here is all the information on that:
Order “The New York Rangers Rink of Honor and the Rafters of Madison Square Garden” Book Today
My four-volume set of books, “One Game at a Time – A Season to Remember,” is a game-by-game recount of the Rangers 2021-22 campaign.
My second title as an author, “One Game at a Time – A Season to Remember,” is now available in eBook, paperback and hardcover formats.
To obtain signed copies, visit: https://bluecollarblueshirts.com/onegamebook/
To purchase all four volumes on Amazon, visit: Amazon.com – “One Game at a Time.”
The greatest volume-set of books on Rangers’ history today!
“Tricks of the Trade – A Century-Long Journey Through Every Trade Made In New York Rangers’ History,” a four-volume set of books that meticulously covers every trade made in franchise history, is now on sale.
All four volumes of the title can be purchased on Amazon.com and are presented in three different formats – eBook, paperback and hardcover.
To purchase Volume I: Conn Smythe (1926) – Craig Patrick (1986), visit Amazon.com
To purchase Volume II: Phil Esposito (1986) – Neil Smith (2000), visit Amazon.com
To purchase Volume III: Glen Sather (2000-2015), visit Amazon.com
To purchase Volume IV: Jeff Gorton (2015) – Chris Drury (2022), visit Amazon.com
To purchase signed copies of all four volumes, visit https://bluecollarblueshirts.com/tricksofthetrade/
Here are my last few blogs, in case you missed them:
2023 Stanley Cup Playoff Thoughts; Blowouts and Upsets, Conference Finals Predictions, Desert Dogs Put to Sleep by Arizona Voters; Why New Orleans Would Make Sense for Relocation, Not Much Rangers News, But Plenty of Rumors & Speculation; Brooks’ Non-Stop Revolving Door of Coaches & More
Scorched Earth Continues: Why Mark Messier as Head Coach of the Rangers Wouldn’t Be The Worst Thing In The World (But We All Know It Won’t Happen); The Real Candidates & Thoughts, Knoblauch’s Emergence, Et Tu Drury: A Montreal Offer Sheet to Alexis Lafreniere is a Real Possibility, Gallant + JD = CBJ & More
Rangers Fire Gerard Gallant; Full Press Release & “Turk Thoughts,” Chris Drury’s First Strike with Dolan, Panarin = Coach Killer, Let the Joel Quenneville Introductory Press Conference Commence; Four Coaches in Five Years & More
If you haven’t already, subscribe to this blog for the next update:
Don’t forget to order my recently released four-volume set of books, “Tricks of the Trade!”
If you don’t order through me, all four volumes are now available on Amazon.com
For more details, check out: https://bluecollarblueshirts.com/tricksofthetrade/
Thanks for reading.
LET’S GO RANGERS!
Sean McCaffrey
BULLSMC@aol.com
@NYCTHEMIC on the Tweeter machine
